야 정현아! (Hey JungHyun!) - my teacher called out, as I was slowly peeling my tangerine today. I was startled. Why? Because I hadn't heard anyone call me JungHyun (except for faint raspy whispers from my grandma in Korea, heard over the phone) so directly and confidently in years. I did go by Jung in some classes in college but I felt that I had no ownership of the name, as it felt distant and strange, with few exceptions. Most people around now call me Joyce. Or Joycie in Portuguese. I was tickled to find out that my parents thought that Korean-Brazilians were just pronouncing my name wrong - 조이씨. How nice it is to hear one's own name, to be known. It's an affirmation of sorts.
I had my first kayageum lesson a year ago from today, on Thursday November 12, 2009. It's already been a year...
I have not read up on Sung Keum Yun, as I said I would, nor have I done any research on kayageum playing on my own. I have yet to do focused listening on the Sung Keum Yun CD my aunt bought me from Korea. All in all, I've been pretty lazy about this, though I have been making an effort to attend my lessons diligently. I'm not sure that I can devote enough of myself to this, especially in the midst of some unfortunate transportation issues. But if a bus ride would solve the problem, that shouldn't be too much to ask, right? Still, I balk at the thought of wasting time taking the bus to downtown LA for who knows how long. I didn't even think to consider that such a bus existed until a few weeks ago, with the poor public transit system here. I will remember to be thankful, even when I start feeling busier with all the grad school application stuff that is due within a month and thereafter. It's like I'm in an exclusive music program already, learning a couple times a week, from a renowned teacher with decades of experience. I mistakenly take it for granted sometimes because it required no GRE, no audition, no application fee, and just fell into my lap. In the past year, I learned the names of the strings, plucking technique, the ubiquitous piece, "Arirang," and am now thirteen 장단s (sets of beats) into "눈물이 진주라면" (If Tears were Pearls). The encouraging part of learning a brand new instrument is that there is no way to not make progress; I didn't even know how to play a single note before and now I can play a whole piece :) I love playing "눈물이 진주라면" - I find it difficult to describe its beauty but perhaps if you heard it live, you'd understand. I really hope I can finish learning that piece, if I end up moving away for school in fall of 2011. I'm curious about who looks at this site. I don't tell many people about it and only post on my facebook fan page, on the rather rare occasions when I update. And yet, when I log into the host site to blog, the statistics graph shows me that a handful of unique visitors stop by daily. Who are you? My teacher has come down with some kind of cold. So she wore one of those SARS masks the entire lesson today. I remember having a white one with a character on it, when I was little and living in Korea. I hope she's feeling better now!
Spontaneous bursts of inspiration I let slip away a few too many times in the recent past. I have no regrets, only vague recollections of what could have been. There is no fear of running out of ideas; my head at any moment is spinning with visions, sensations and sounds of projects to come. Inspiration surely arises again but discipline eludes me, even as I pursue it.
We play a five second excerpt about fifty times. After the fifth time, I'm thinking that I have it down. But my teacher insists that we continue... These lessons have been my only rod of discipline in a phase of averaging two naps a day, singing one chico buarque song to death, and obsessively baking cupcakes. I am putting those sloth days behind me. I have run out of excuses for my laziness. I had planned on doing a work-in-progress demonstration this summer, of what I've been learning on the kayageum, along with a couple pieces I've been composing (one for voice & onion, the other to go with my "Resonations" text). My teacher said I'm not ready. She obviously does not know how I do things. First, I plunge. Then, I hope to swim. If I think someone is going to object to my plans, I just don't bother to ask. Though she was against a short demo, being my usual hard-headed self, I said I'd do it anyway. It's not happening this summer. Why is my teacher always right? Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have to wait on this - but this is good. I tend to barge into things but this time, I will practice patience. You can look forward to hearing a little bit sometime past this November, when it'll have been at least one year since I've started learning. I'd also like to add that I'm thankful for these kayageum lessons having anchored me to Los Angeles. I would have jetted back to the bay-area the first chance I got, if not for them, and have missed out on spring, a season full of new friends I love dearly and new adventures. Spring was all the more intense, coming out of an exceptionally cold, depressing and long winter and now, it's already summer! Summer is going to be something else. I shared four of my Resonations stories for the Celebration of Asian Pacific American Womyn at UC Berkeley on February 7, 2010 - here is a video of that. It was my first time sharing these stories and though they were mine, I was surprised :o Also, I've noted yet again that I need to speak slower - on stage & in life.
There is time enough. Happy new year! And welcome to my new blog on kayageum lessons from my teacher, Ko, Soon Ok.
It's only been a few months since I started learning to play last November but the time spent with my teacher has been critical in my life and my music. Not only have I been learning to play this 12-stringed Korean instrument, I've been learning about what it means for me to be Korean-American. I'm working on a piece where I'll set original kayageum music to text; I've already written the text, with a story for each of the 12 strings, but it'll be some years before I am able to compose for the gayageum. Each story is something that resonates with me, as each string resonates. You will find these "Resonations" on the home page of this site. I'll keep you updated throughout this year, as I gather more materials, and post a video within a couple months. I'm very excited for my year, the year of the tiger :) |
J Kwon
Student of the Kayagŭm, Archives
December 2018
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